When the Material Writes Itself AKA You can't make this stuff up!

So after a few months full of drama, I'd like to share an amusing experience I just had while shopping at one of Australia's two major supermarkets that is not Coles.

I was walking down the chip isle minding my own business when I stopped to pick up a couple of packets of my favourite go to snacks. Just in front of me was a man (In hindsight I use that term very loosely) who clearly loved his food and was taking up most of the real estate of the isle. As I was left with no choice I politely waited for him to make probably the most important decision of the day.

Once he had selected his chip of choice he walked backwards into me and then proceeded to give a performance worthy of a Razzie award. He started going on about how I had pushed my trolley into him and how offended he was. As he ranted, I just looked at him. First with astonishment at the level of manufactured drama one individual could generate. Then with pity about how little he must have happening in his life that he felt the need to harass a poor woman who had done nothing wrong. I politely tried to point out how could I have pushed the trolley into him when I was stationary and he was the one on the move. Well he clearly didn't like that and then starts talking about calling the Police. By this time the novelty had worn off so I just responded grow up and cry me a river, while he continued to dribble on about bringing down on me the full weight of the law. As I walked away in sheer disbelief, I could only wonder about the true reason for his mock outrage. Was it just because he was a sad pathetic white man in need of entertainment? Or was it because it's been a while since he's seen what lies below his waist? To be honest I don't care. I got a funny story out of it and you get to read about it.

Disclaimer - The events you have just read actually happened. I could have waited for him to summon the Police and see him make more of a fool of himself. but the situation was so beyond farce I couldn’t be bothered giving him any more energy. He was clearly a clown in search of a circus and I happened to be in the wrong / right place at the time. Disclaimer - The image accompanying this post was generated by Chat GTP. He was much bigger and much more of a clown in real life that any AI could do justice to. I'll let it spend its energy trying to get the number of fingers on hands right. Clowns don't deserve anyone's energy.